Everything I needed to know I learned while filling up the bath tub
Recently I was filling up the tub for my son Charlie with my backside to him. He gently put a hand on the pocket of my jeans and said very sweetly, "Mommy, I like your beautiful butt." It's a good thing I was in the bathroom because I laughed so hard that I almost wet my pants, and then I hugged him. "Thank you Charlie," I replied. When I posted this on my Facebook status one friend wrote back that her daughter saw her in the shower and said, "Mommy, your butt is so big." She preferred Charlie's comment.
Where did this comment come from? Richard and I certainly don't comment on each other's body parts (at least not when the kids can hear). Keeping in mind about how honest and uninhibited children are I decided that I guess he must really think I have a beautiful butt. After all, he wasn't trying to flatter me to get something, he knew he was about to get in the bath.
Over the next few days I observed how Richard and I speak to the kids. I tend to start a lot of sentences with "I like the way you...". Richard tells them how beautiful and scrumptious they are. So there you have it, Charlie's comment was a combination of the lessons we have taught him in how to speak nicely to one another. Initially I thought his comment was nothing more than cute but now it is clear to me: WE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT! This is a rare but beautiful (as Charlie would say) parenting moment. My son spoke to me in a way that he likes to be spoken to and I was impressed.
Now that I'm aware of this positive behavior I take the time to notice it. The other day the car seat buckle was backwards and I fixed it, to which Charlie responded, "How did you do that mommy? Good job, you rock!"
We went rock climbing a few weeks ago and while Charlie, Tali and I made an attempt at the structure, Richard made it all the way to the top with no previous climbing experience. The kids cheered him on all the way up and down. When he landed at the bottom they ran up and hugged him saying, "I'm so proud of you!" Richard was beaming.
We spend a lot of time speaking positively to our children in order to build their self esteem and motivate them to continue doing the right thing. By repeating the messages we give them back to us we are teaching them something much more profound which happens to be a lesson from the Torah (bible, 5 books of Moses): Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Who knew my children could become Torah Scholars at such a young age? I never even realized I had the knowledge to teach them.
Once in a while at my daughter's school I'm offended by the way some of the other mothers treat me. I feel ignored and judged for one reason or another. My first instinct is to ignore and judge them back. I need to take a page from my kids and simply smile and maybe even give them a compliment. Perhaps they will then learn from me what I have learned from my children: By treating others the way we'd like to be treated we are teaching them to do the same.
Where did this comment come from? Richard and I certainly don't comment on each other's body parts (at least not when the kids can hear). Keeping in mind about how honest and uninhibited children are I decided that I guess he must really think I have a beautiful butt. After all, he wasn't trying to flatter me to get something, he knew he was about to get in the bath.
Over the next few days I observed how Richard and I speak to the kids. I tend to start a lot of sentences with "I like the way you...". Richard tells them how beautiful and scrumptious they are. So there you have it, Charlie's comment was a combination of the lessons we have taught him in how to speak nicely to one another. Initially I thought his comment was nothing more than cute but now it is clear to me: WE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT! This is a rare but beautiful (as Charlie would say) parenting moment. My son spoke to me in a way that he likes to be spoken to and I was impressed.
Now that I'm aware of this positive behavior I take the time to notice it. The other day the car seat buckle was backwards and I fixed it, to which Charlie responded, "How did you do that mommy? Good job, you rock!"
We went rock climbing a few weeks ago and while Charlie, Tali and I made an attempt at the structure, Richard made it all the way to the top with no previous climbing experience. The kids cheered him on all the way up and down. When he landed at the bottom they ran up and hugged him saying, "I'm so proud of you!" Richard was beaming.
We spend a lot of time speaking positively to our children in order to build their self esteem and motivate them to continue doing the right thing. By repeating the messages we give them back to us we are teaching them something much more profound which happens to be a lesson from the Torah (bible, 5 books of Moses): Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Who knew my children could become Torah Scholars at such a young age? I never even realized I had the knowledge to teach them.
Once in a while at my daughter's school I'm offended by the way some of the other mothers treat me. I feel ignored and judged for one reason or another. My first instinct is to ignore and judge them back. I need to take a page from my kids and simply smile and maybe even give them a compliment. Perhaps they will then learn from me what I have learned from my children: By treating others the way we'd like to be treated we are teaching them to do the same.
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