My Average Daughter

As I watch my daughter's plane take off it sinks in for me how in awe I am of her. At thirteen years old she is so much more self assured than I ever was. This is her second time flying by herself and while she still likes me to walk her to the gate, she's quite comfortable being on her own. This isn't one of those posts where I go on to talk about how amazing my child is, in fact, this is one where there is acceptance about how by most standards she is quite average. She's not a straight A student, if she could find a way to opt out of math and science she would do it in heart beat. Her current goal consists of how she might convince all her teachers that homework isn't nearly as important as sleeping or hanging out with friends. She isn't a super star athlete. She has dabbled in cross country, track, softball and dance and enjoyed them all but never pushed herself to master or even improve in those sports. She has been in some musicals and plays, but is currently taking a break from that. There are no Facebook posts of her winning the spelling bee or the soccer championships. Who she IS is the girl who says "I love you" to us every time she calls us on the phone. She is the girl who invites a boy to eat lunch with  her friends after he tells her his friends are teasing him by calling him horrible names. She is the girl who has had screaming matches with me and then apologized to me later saying, "I shouldn't have behaved that way, it was immature." She is the girl who looks adults in the eye, puts out her hand and says, "Nice to meet you." She is the girl who has made mistakes that have hurt others and says, "That was a dumb, mean thing to do and I accept my punishment." She then apologizes directly to those she has hurt. Her little brother drives her crazy but she loves him anyway, and always sticks up for him, even to us. Once he got upset because he thought he was getting his own personal pizza and instead I ordered a large pizza for us all to share. When he doesn't know what to expect he often falls apart. I explained to his sister my plan and she said, "Well Mom he didn't get that memo!"  Later at the movies, kids turned around to look at her brother because he was having a "moment." The lights were still on and the movie hadn't started. She looked them in the eye and said, "Can you please stop staring? thanks!" She is the girl who spends time with her grandparents happily and teaches them how to use their cell phones. She cuddles with them and tells them they are the best grandparents in the world. When she hears the key in the door she yells, "Daddy's home" and runs to the door to greet him with a hug. She is the girl who loves younger children and showers her little cousins and our family friends' kids with love, affection and entertainment. She started out terrified of having a Bat-Mitzvah because the Hebrew was challenging and she didn't want to "mess up" in front of people, and ended up working hard and doing a beautiful job. She held her cousin's hand the day before he died and told him how much she would miss him. After his death she wrote a letter to his children and wife expressing her sympathies. She is the girl who tries to protect the feelings of others by not talking about birthday parties at school and on social media. She's always surprised when others aren't as thoughtful. She is the girl who has a great relationship with her principal and goes to talk to him on her own when she needs his advice. She is the girl who says to adults, "I hope your grandma feels better, " or I'm sorry for your loss."  She is the girl who goes to camp every summer for a month and still writes that she misses us. When she comes home she starts counting the days for the next summer. When her brother was with her for the first time she went to his cabin before Shabbat (Sabbath) to comb his hair and take a picture with him. She is the girl who decides not to be in a performance or not to go to a weekend retreat because it's a friend's Bar/Bat Mitzvah and, " I just can't do that to them, I need to be there on their special day." She is the girl who figures out that someone is gossiping about her because he feels insecure about his friendships and wants to act like he knows something important to keep others interested. She's the girl who gets over it, and becomes friendly with him. She is the girl who learns from past mistakes and shows us this by saying, "I was going to do that again but then I remembered what happened last time and so I didn't' do it."  When she made the discus finals by somehow throwing the discus 19 feet she was thrilled. When she got to those finals she cheered when she saw she had thrown the discus 24 feet, even though the other girls had thrown it 58 feet. She appreciates good food and loves to try new creations either that she makes or that I put in front of her. When I tell her, "We are going to be eating healthy and not complaining about what I make because Daddy and I need to take better care of ourselves, " she is the girl who says, "This is delicious, why didn't you make it before?" She is my daughter and she is amazing and gives me something to brag about every day. The next time you're comparing your child to others and wondering why they are not excelling in a million activities and getting straight A's, remember that that is how others view whether a child is exceptional.  It doesn't mean that your child isn't. My daughter is exceptional in all the ways that matter. If that makes her average then I am perfectly content.