working mom 24/7

   My children have the wonderful ability to be consistantly inconsistant. Charlie started a new day camp three weeks ago. For the first two and a half weeks at camp I literally had to peal him off of me in front of his counselors before I could walk out the door. Since Tali's camp starts an hour later, we'd often go play at the park on the same campus as his classroom. A few times we ran into his group coming out to sing songs. Every time he saw me he'd wave enthusiastically. I'd blow him a kiss and he'd "catch" it in his hands and put it on his cheek. He seemed so much more grown up than the boy I'd left an hour before.    A couple of weeks ago I took the kids to a BBQ at Charlie's pre-school after camp. Both he and Tali ran around with other kids until dinner was ready. When the food was done I took Charlie with me to fix his plate. He picked out what he wanted while I held it and then we went back to the seat he had chosen next to his friend....

I took the kids to ice-cream tonight after dinner. Charlie ordered his usual: one scoop of choclate on a cone. When it was handed to him he said "thank-you" and went to sit at a table and quietly ate. After a few samples Tali ordered hers and went to sit with Charlie. As the three of us sat enjoying our chosen flavors I looked around the room. There was a woman nursing a newborn while her two pre-schoolers licked their cones. Just beyond them was a family of four whose kids were running around the shop. Charlie noticed a three year old with a handful of paper cups that had been put out for water. She was crumpling them and laughing. "Mommy, why is  that little girl doing that? She's wasting those cups!" Was this really my Charlie talking? "You used to do things like that Charlie." I said. He looked at me with his big eyes, completely shocked. "I did not," he said. "Yes, you did Charlie," I said laughing. Charlie use to c...

 Denial is more than just a river in Egypt. It is a lifeline. I swam in it for a long while until I was forced to climb out of that warm, comforting water.  Every time I think I'm finally dry I discover that I need another towel because I've soaked through the one I'm using. I put my feet in the "water" when Richard and I talked about having children. We knew we wanted at least two, maybe more. I had always worked with children professionally and while Richard hadn't, watching him with our nieces and nephews \ was all the evidence I needed that he'd be a phenominal father. We talked about baby names and birth order.  We discussed how we'd raise them and all the things we admired about the other parents we knew. Since we're both Jewish, we knew spirituality would be part of their lives. We'd expose them to sports,  instruments and help them with their homework. I would be the english tutor and he would handle science and history. We'd g...